Civilian families were in Vietnam before the military arrived and when Vietnam fell. Much has been written about the "blood and guts" role of the military, but little about other Americans who were there during the war era.

That American women were a part of the scene comes as a surprise to most people. They had to fight their own battles behind the lines while ordered to ignore the tragedy of war and "bombs bursting in air." It was difficult enough living in Vietnam as a cohesive family. But after evacuation from that country, lengthy separations from husbands who stayed behind to work sometimes resulted in strained relationships and/or divorces. But these women stood tall during the good and bad times.

Now we have re-established diplomatic relations with Vietnam and perhaps the time has come to look back in laughter as well as tears. There was life outside the war zones. Civilians were there and were real.

"Memoirs of An Insignificant Dragon" is a collection of anecdotes, primarily of my own life, but it also shows the resiliency, toughness and, most of all, a sense of humor that kept the American woman balanced and functional while remaining the backbone of the family during these very challenging times.

And so did the civilian American man show his own strengths. When my husband Harvey joined the U. S. Agency for International Development in 1962, he was one of the few advance people sent to Vietnam to help set up a new program called Rural Affairs. This was a well thought-out approach for helping Vietnamese people living in the provinces to develop self-help programs.

What and where was Vietnam? To us it was an unknown quantity somewhere in the South Pacific. And so we, and our five-year-old son, Jack, started on what was to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of our lives. We lived in Vietnam from the fall of 1962 until Jack and I were evacuated to Bangkok, Thailand, on Valentine's Day, 1965.

While living in Vietnam, I was an interim editor of the "English-speaking" section of the Vietnam Press, taught English at the Vietnamese American Association, and traveled in country. Jack and I spent four hours in the midst of the coup d'etat that overthrew the government of President Diem and Commissioner Nhu.

Harvey was transferred from Vietnam to Thailand in late 1965. After two tours in Thailand, one upcountry in the provincial town of Udornthani, Harvey was again assigned to Vietnam.

Even while stationed in Thailand, we were never fully divorced from the Vietnamese situation. When Harvey returned to Vietnam, Jack and I remained safe-havened in Bangkok. I again became an independent wife and mother learning to raise a child by myself in a foreign country. We lived this way until Vietnam fell and we returned to the States.

Our lives changed dramatically during these years we lived in both countries. We learned to appreciate the differences as well as the similarities that exist in each culture. People are essentially the same, have the same need for security, a concern for their children. Only the approach may differ. I have written of incidents in both Vietnam and Thailand. There is a description of an upcountry Thailand Buddhist funeral and another of a Buddhist wedding to help give the reader insight into some Southeast Asian customs and rites.

Although Thailand stayed free, the Vietnamese War made itself felt in the border provinces. The greatest change in Bangkok resulting from the war was the large number of Americans stationed in country, both civilian and military.

This book is a memorial not only to the American woman but to Harvey and his belief in doing what he could to help others. He frequently quoted President John Kennedy. 'Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.' Many of the American civilian men who worked countless hours in Vietnam and Thailand during those war years believed in what they were doing. It was not their fault we failed in the war in Vietnam. Their fight was the good one.