How to Survive Your Divorce Lawyer
by G.H. Llewellyn

 INTRODUCTION

You hear a knock and hurry toward the door. A nicely-dressed man says your name and you nod your head.  Before you have a chance to ask what the man wants, he shoves an envelope toward you and announces that you are being served.  Stunned, you hold the envelope in your hand while watching the process server’s retreating back.  As your shaking fingers open the envelope, questions race through your mind.  Has your soon-to-be ex-spouse decided not to settle the divorce and go to trial?  Has  your spouse’s over-zealous attorneys made a mistake and served you with papers containing additional demands despite their client’s wishes to settle?  

Holding the legal document in your trembling hands, you scan through it.  That’s when you realize that you have been served with papers asking a Judge for a money judgement against you and/or a lien on your home.  But the real shocker is that the demand is not from your spiteful spouse or their bull-dog lawyers.  Your own attorney, to whom you have given both your money and confidence, has made a motion not only to be relieved as your counsel because of unpaid fees, but to also have a judgement filed against you!

DID YOU KNOW THIS COULD HAPPEN?

FEW PEOPLE DO.

This is the very scenario this book will help you avoid.  The time to understand how to cut legal expenses isn’t after you hired an attorney.  The time is from the first moment you know a divorce is imminent.  That is when you need to:

*protect your rights as a parent;

*protect and document your assets;

*find potential attorneys;

*understand the retainer agreement used in matrimonial matters;

*suggest modifications to the retainer agreement; and

*choose an attorney who is right for you and right for your budget.

The time to cut down on fees, know what to look for in monthly billing statements, how to negotiate fees, and protect your rights in the matrimonial process is right now, not after you have handed over your hard-earned money to an attorney for a retainer.      

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Having worked as a legal secretary and paralegal for nearly twenty years and having gone through my own divorce before I entered the legal field, I have seen many people, including myself, sabotage their own case even before they contacted an attorney.   I have heard from attorneys, paralegals and secretaries at firms throughout the country about clients who made expensive mistakes before contacting an attorney, clients who retained firms they couldn’t afford, racked up unnecessary fees, and waited until it was too late to contest their attorney’s billing statements.

Through the years I have received hundreds of calls from people who were not pleased with the firms they had hired, were stunned and confused by the billing process, and were calling to set up an appointment to switch counsel.   These clients, despite the fact that they had read and signed a Statement of Client’s Rights as required to be given to them by an attorney to ensure the clients’ rights in the legal process, still did not understand their legal rights.

So how could I help people going through a divorce?

After reading this book you will have a workable, street-wise blueprint on what to do when you decide or are told that a divorce is imminent.  Avoiding mistakes, which could come back to haunt you in the form of additional grief in relation to your children and assets, will save you thousands of dollars in legal fees.  

This book will explain:  

*where to find a referral for an attorney;

*making a list of questions to ask when setting up an appointment;

* what to look for during the interview;

* changes you might want to make to the retainer agreement;

*how to keep fees down during the divorce;

*what you should look for in the monthly billing statements;

*how you should be treated by your attorneys; and

*how to address other areas of concern that will help you through the most devastating and possibly expensive time of your life.  

CHAPTER 1

BABY, IT’S OVER

The Initial Steps To Take When A Divorce Is Imminent

Chapter I will explain how to protect your assets, prepare lists of debts and monthly obligations, and how to write a marital history.  By preparing information before you retain an attorney and not committing some common errors that could come back to haunt you in the legal maze you will soon be entering, you can save thousands of dollars.

THE TIME TO CUT DOWN ON LEGAL

EXPENSES IS NOW!

Your spouse suddenly tells you that the marriage is over.  Or maybe it is you who wants out.  Either way, the air is charged with emotions. This, however, is not the time to go into hysterics or spout accusations and threats.  Like a soldier who hears enemy fire, this is the moment when you need to stop and regroup.

Remember: Marriage may be considered by many as the cornerstone of society and divorce may be rated as one of the top emotional traumas one can experience, but in an attorney’s office or before a Judge, it all comes down to dollars and cents —your hard-earned dollars and cents.  

With dollar signs in mind, if the idea of a divorce is yours, keep the idea to yourself, at least for awhile.  Except to give you a momentary rush of relief, talking with your spouse about your resolution wouldn’t do much good anyway. If you and your spouse had such great communication, the odds are you wouldn’t be talking or even thinking about a divorce.

PLAN AHEAD

Couples growing apart are not a sudden condition.  It was a long time in the making and now is not the time to bare your soul.

Instead of telling your spouse how you feel, take a deep breath, go for a walk, and accept the fact that the imminent divorce is not that big of a shock to you.  It might, however, be a shock to your spouse.  The time to let your “cat out of the bag” is after preparing your preliminary asset-debt-expense lists described in this chapter and speaking with a lawyer to get his opinion on what you should do next.  

What if after seeing your finances in black and white or speaking to an attorney, you decide not to go through with the divorce?  If you haven’t announced your intentions to your spouse, you haven’t lost anything but the time it took to list your assets (a good idea in any case) and whatever fee, if any, you paid for a consultation.  

If, however, you do decide to file for a separation or divorce, by not sharing your plans with your spouse you have gained precious time to ascertain and protect your assets while you still have access to important papers and documents.

ZIP YOUR LIP

If your spouse is the one suddenly announcing the demise of your marriage, keeping your mouth shut is much harder.  The natural reaction is to retaliate with incidents and accusations intended to hurt your spouse as you have just been hurt or to try and make them feel guilty for abandoning the family.  While screaming and cursing may feel good at the moment, it could cost you a bundle of money down the line.  

COSTLY ERRORS

Hiring professionals to trace assets that a spiteful or frightened spouse might hide, transfer or liquidate is very expensive.  You may also have to spend thousands proving that your hard-earned net worth was severely compromised by a partner running up excessive business or household bills. And what if you do succeed in proving to a Judge through expensive motions and litigation froth with the affidavits of accountants that you are the financially injured party?

YOU COULD LOSE MORE THAN A SPOUSE

Third parties such as plumbers, carpenters, mechanics, credit card companies, etc.,who had reasonable cause to believe that your spouse continued to be or was at the time authorized to charge goods or services, are not responsible for the deception.  The money owed, therefore, has to be paid whether or not the services or goods were actually needed.  Your only recourse would be to have your spouse agree to giving you a bigger share of the remaining assets or have a Judge decide who should get what percentage of the remaining assets.

Although it may seem reasonable to assume a Judge will make a fair and just decision if assets were divested, divorce, like life, is often neither fair nor just.  Remember that the other side will be putting in answering papers and hiring experts of their own to contest the allegations.  It could come as a shock, but not only could you lose the motion to receive additional assets but, if your spouse claims to be without funds to pay for their attorney or the Judge deems the motion was made in bad faith, you could be ordered to pay the other side’s legal fees too!  

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

In the case of a spouse announcing that they want a divorce or having their attorney serve papers on you, time is of the essence.  What needs to be focused on right away is choosing the right attorney while following the next step to document your assets.    

AS MY GRANDMOTHER OFTEN SAID, DON’T GET MAD, GET BUSY!

While you are following the advice in Chapter II on locating an attorney, there is a lot you must start doing right now.  In order to protect your assets not only from your spouse but from having your hard-earned dollars gobbled up by an attorney to rectify errors and omissions that were made before you retained counsel, you need to get busy!

LIST, INVENTORY, AND SAY CHEESE

This is the time to go to safe deposit boxes and look through home files.  You will need a complete list and copies of all real estate holdings, bank accounts, stocks, bonds, retirement plans, vehicle leases and title papers, and tax returns for the last seven years.  This is also a good time to make a list and copies of all  debts, including mortgages, liens, charges, and any other expenses there are.   

The reason for creating these lists is twofold:  

(1)The first reason is for convenience.  You will have to provide these copies to your attorney and also to the other side when an examination before trial has been scheduled.  

(2)The other reason is to protect your assets if your spouse goes on a spending spree or suddenly becomes overly generous to third parties.  If you can prove a previous pattern of spending and gift-giving, there is a greater chance of quickly being able to obtain an injunction signed by a Judge to freeze your funds and put a stop on your spouse’s willful dissimilation of assets.

Besides listing the asset or debt, you should include the history of each item.  By history I mean:

*where the money to purchase it came from (whether salary, inheritance, sale of an asset attained prior to the marriage, or gift from a parent to one or both of you;

*the cost;

*when it was purchased; and

*an estimate of its current value, if you know it.

It is also important to take pictures and/or videos of real estate and personal property. This way, if your spouse does not maintain the marital home or damages vehicles, art, furniture, etc., you will have “before and after” pictures to produce as evidence.

CHARTS AND RECORDS YOU

CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT

The easiest and most readable way to create these lists is to make a chart. Use separate pieces of paper for charts of real estate, bank accounts, etc.  Then make columns entitled, “Item,” “Date Purchased,” “Price,” “Source of Funds,” and “Estimated Value.” This will help your attorney determine what is premarital or marital and, as you know, anything that saves your attorney time ultimately saves you money.  

You will also need a chart of monthly expenses.  Be sure to include as much detail as possible.  For instance, besides food, mortgage, rent, taxes, car payments, insurances, heating, electric, phone, yard maintenance, and tuition, be sure to include such items as laundry, dry cleaning expenses, dining out, commuting costs, pet expenses, beauty parlor visits, magazine subscriptions, and any other expenses incurred.  

This expense chart will come in very handy and save time at the initial consultations when interviewing attorneys.  The charts will also be needed later to prepare a formal statement of your assets and debts.

You can obtain a copy of the asset/debt form that is used in your state in matrimonial cases by going to the local courthouse, signing onto the court’s web site, or visiting an office supply store that sells forms.  By filling in the information now for your own use, it will give you a good idea of your assets and debts.  In addition, it will be much simpler to fill in the asset/debit statement you will be asked to complete after you hire a lawyer.  This formal version of your debts and assets, after being reviewed by your attorney, will then be served on the other side and will be needed if you require financial relief from the Court. You should also start making a chart of all personal property, including cars, boats, furniture, art, rugs, silver, gold, watches, china, family pictures, videos, and everything else you own, including the family pets.  Most of these items will also have to be listed on the asset/debit statement you will be asked to prepare in the future.  Don’t worry about being petty when you itemize personal property.  This chart will come in handy for several reasons:

(1)you might negotiate a settlement and not remember about the china that your grandmother left you;  

(2)you can always give up something listed or use it to negotiate for an item that you really do want; and

(3)if an item is not listed, it could easily be forgotten.

Next to each personal item that you would like to keep, put a star or other symbol. This will help your attorney to ascertain what he should include in his negotiations with the other side.